Give me rest

Our daily lives can get pushed and shoved into busyness most any day; but holidays seem to ramp it up a notch or two. So many expectations on what has to be done – what others expect of us, what we expect of us. Do you get the feeling you won’t get it all done – no matter how much time you spend on the hamster wheel? Do you fall exhausted into bed at night thinking “ I should have gotten more done” and start mentally writing a pressured to-do list for the next day? The truth is: there’s always more to do. It’s called living. Nobody, nobody – ever gets it all perfectly all done. And we need to make our peace with that.

 I’m reminded of some poem that talks about dust and cobwebs having to stay, for I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t wait.

 Yes. I’m talking about priorities. (physical, emotional, financial, relational, spiritual) Let’s settle down real quiet-like, and make up a list of three things that are of utmost importance to you when it comes to the celebration of Christmas. Be still. Be quiet – like taking the time to rock a baby… what does your resting heart say? Three things – and only three. And then, when you start feeling harried – check your list. Are you investing in your priorities?

 Is it purchasing the most perfect gifts? Is it about managing finances wisely? Is it spending quality time with family and friends? Cooking and baking favorite treats? Is it about sticking to a diet? Decorating the house to the nines like we always have? Is it giving and helping more than usual? Is it more meditation time on Jesus the Christ – child?

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,

for I am gentle and lowly in heart

and you will find rest for your souls.

 – Matthew 11:28-29

 

• You, dear friend, are an important part of my life.
• It is such a blessing to call you (sister, friend, aunt…)
• Thank you for your wonderful hospitality. We truly enjoyed ourselves.

 

I want something new

I want something new!

 Isn’t that what we’re all saying upon this season of mega-advertising? I want something new! Apparently, I need the newer, bigger, brighter – and didn’t realize it. We are flooded with ads on the internet, flyers in our postal mail, all over the television. And I agree. I want something new – for me!

 I want to be the one who slows down so somebody can merge onto the highway without fear. I’ve done it on occasion, but I want it to be a part of a new me. And I want to be the one who lets someone “cut” ahead of me in the grocery check-out line because they have fewer items. I want to be the one who bakes and decorates sugar cookies for the one who’s been too ill or too busy to do themselves. I want to be the one who sends a card to the shut-ins or the vets or the soldiers overseas. I want to be the one who brushes the snow off the car next to mine in the parking lot. I want to slip a note to the postal carrier and let them know I’m praying for them as they walk and drive on the winter roads. I want to take someone out for one of those seasonal fancy coffees.

Yeah. I want something new… I want a kinder, gentler world. Lord, let it begin with me.

 

• It’s a real treat to know you!
• God will take care of you!
• You come to mind often and I say a prayer for you.

 

It's that time...

This is one of those times in the year when we stop and think about other people. People near and far. People we know well and see often, some who are distant in miles but not heart. And even strangers capture our attention. Take time for a couple deep-cleansing breaths as you consider… giving. Give with joy and love from your heart. Be giddy as you find that perfect gift for someone. Take a deep-cleansing breath, stand up straight and tall and relish the conversations as you mingle at one gathering, then the next. Take a deep-cleansing breath as you jot a note to someone “it’s been too-long” since seeing. Slow down and breathe so as to give from your heart and not the rampant pressure of the world. Remember those who have drifted from your daily radar but still have a place in your heart. We have close, day-to-day friends. We have friends we connect with once in awhile. And still others, when, despite all technology, this is the season we remember with a special message. This is it. This is that time of year when loving and giving abounds. We put money in red kettles. We hang mittens on trees in banks and churches. Purchase unwrapped toys to put in big collection boxes. We cook and bake and come together – to decorate, sing, laugh, celebrate. More than other days of the year.  Yes, this is it. Loving. Giving. Sharing. Rejoicing. Helping. Remembering. One another.  Time to remember and to love one another.

 

• Remembering you is one of my favorite things to do!
• Thoughts of you always brighten my day! Hope all is well.
• Thank you – just for being you! Always a pleasure to connect with you.

 

Intentional Focusing

Intentional focus. I’m talking about that time (yes, time) when we choose to shut out the world and all other distractions, turning ourselves to one thing – whether for a moment or a minute… or more. You might have recently done that very thing around the family dinner table before you began eating. Purposefully thinking about thankfulness, or a praise, or a plea – and nothing else. Prayer. Turning our thoughts toward God.

 When I had little ones in the house (I was a foster mom and an adoptive mom), I had children’s mealtime prayers written out on index cards. Every day at dinnertime, I would shuffle them up, fan them out, and say, “Pick a card! Any card at all!” And it wasn’t long before we all had them memorized. I wonder if any of them still remember: “Thank You, God, for daily bread. For apples and cherries red…” It was probably nice for them to have a reminder or a prompt from a card.

At another point in my life, those of you who knew me back when – when I was very shy and introverted – I was called upon at church to participate in healing prayer. That required being hooked up with a microphone, getting up in front of the whole church at the appointed time in the Sunday morning service, and leading the congregation in intercessory prayer as the requests came forward. Yeah, I know. Eek! No cue cards here! How I was ever brave enough to be in this spontaneous-oh-my prayer situation, only God knows. But, wow, what a wonderful thing happened to me. I relied on God more than ever. Not knowing what prayer request would come up front, there was no way to prepare. God had to show up in the here and now. And show up He always did. With just the right words. Many times “I” would reference a scripture verse I had recently read. It just seemed to pop right into my head.

(The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue,

to know the word that sustains the weary. – Is. 50:4)

 

I don’t think this verse from the Holy Bible was meant exclusively for Isaiah. Because I think they sometimes apply to me. And if they sometimes apply to me, might they not also sometimes apply to you?

 

(My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God;

on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend.

- Job 16:20

 

God has mercy and compassion on all His people; faithful to all generations. Unchanging. The same God that spoke and helped and healed and gave strength to those in the Bible, is the same living God we have today.

So, as I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts: verses from a recent scripture reading, or a line from a song, or from a daily devotional – one sentence or phrase that stands out – can be turned into a prayer for someone. And it can be written down in a notecard. Try this. Instead of saying “I am praying for you” – actually write out a two or three sentence prayer. For a more powerful effect, insert the person’s name into it. Prayers of thanks. Prayers for strength. Prayers for help.

Prayer is powerful and effective. Here are some sample verses I have used:

•  Though you have made (_______) see troubles, many and bitter, You will restore (______’s) life again; from the depths of the earth You will again bring (______) up. You will increase (______’s) honor and comfort (______) once again. – Ps. 71:20-21
• When the Lord saw (_______), His heart went out to (______) and He said, “Don’t cry.” – Luke 7:13
• I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake (______). – is. 42:16

 

 

 

 

Holiday Sensitivity

It wasn’t that long ago really… when I wanted to bail out of celebrating the holidays. It is true. I was newly divorced, my mom had recently died of cancer, and my son was on his way to Iraq. Thanks, but no thanks to all this “cheerfulness”. I wanted to stay in my apartment and wait for the season to pass.

I will tell you what happened to me… then maybe someone will come to mind to you – where you can step in somehow – and maybe not fix how they’re feeling – but at least be more sensitive to how they’re feeling. Because these upcoming holidays seem to demand family connections and memories. Consider that when you meet someone at a gathering who has never been able to bear a child; or an adult who is not married. A single dad. Think about people suffocating from the news of a cancer. Or the loss of a loved one and this is one of the many “firsts”… And there are people far from home who can’t afford to go visit or who have no family to visit, or buy gifts for… for many people, life in these times are increasingly distant from the Norman Rockwell paintings of long ago.

 

When the “wounds” are fresh, it’s hard to know what to say and do:

• Be patient with yourself and the world.
• Thankfulness will return in time.
• It’s okay to grieve and be sad and miss and mourn and cry. I support you in this for as long as you need. (and mean it)

But please don’t disconnect from this person. You can bring some light into their life. A little light does amazing things – certainly more than no light. “Flying solo” through a trauma can seem like the best idea – you’re focused on this sad thing…Not getting out with others seems like the easiest, but it is also a hard, lonely way to live. Even in sad times, you need an intermission, a respite. I’ve read that one of the biggest overcomers to loneliness and depression is to get out and do something for someone else. Giving can heal your heart.

 And maybe, just maybe… they’ve gotten to the point where they are sick of thinking about sickness or absence or missing… and just don’t know how to move from the numbness to something new and fun and happier.

 So, let’s brainstorm and share some ideas to consider. Because we all know people like the ones I’ve described above. I would welcome your comments below on what we can do for those needing the love from a different kind of Christmas.

Oh, yes! My story. My rescuers were a couple of gals who decided we should have a Christmas tree decorating progressive party. That’s right… I thought the same thing. But we went to each other’s houses (in between stops for coffee and chocolates and other treats, oh MY!) and we  decorated trees all day long and checked out all the ornaments and tree skirts and different styles. At the time, I didn’t have a tree, lights or ornaments – but bless her soul! – somebody had everything I needed in her basement and lovingly, willingly, gave to me. And I still have those ornaments. And although, I’ll admit, it didn’t really change my state of mind immediately, looking back I see that it did get me over the hump… and I now have fond memories of a time when what I had planned would have been sadly short of the new memories God wanted me to have for Christmas.

That’s my story. It won’t work for everyone. So let’s hear from some others! What do you think we should try this season to love and include all peoples? Together we can make a difference!

 

Note to self:

A neighbor recently had some surgery done on her heart. Definitely, send her a card. A happy, funny card.

 

Someone at church has two family members in the hospital / recovery process. God bless her. Send her a card (knowing the “sick”ones always get cards – but what about the mom standing by, right?)

 

Reading a really interesting book, a friend that lives one hour away recommended it. I think I’ll drop a note off to her and let her know how much I am enjoying it and thanks for thinking of me. (and let's get together soon to discuss it!)

 

Was at a meeting the other night, and a friend handed me a copy of a devotion he had read that day… said it reminded him of me. And it does. Another note of thanks for thinking of me and sharing.

 

A woman I recently met sent me information about her connecting returning soldiers with dogs that need homes (because my son just returned). I have the perfect dog card to send her a note of appreciation.

 

And I have my regular list of shut-ins that I send cards to every month. Got those Thanksgiving cards out just in time. They love getting mail!

 

Birthdays! Birthdays! There’s always one or two on my calendar.

 

And I do write to my sponsored child in Uganda every month as well.  I like little note cards so I don’t have to write very much. J

 

Which reminds me of a pen pal ministry for incarcerated teens that I used to be involved with. I have more time on my hands now, maybe I should get back into that…

  

• You’ve been on my mind lately…
• I cherish our friendship and appreciate your thoughtfulness.
• You mean a lot to me!

 

Change ?

Well… I’m trying to eat healthy… again. Not that I need to lose a bunch of weight, but because I know that the right nutrients in my body make me more alert and energetic and able to enjoy life more.  But in this world of go, go, go… it sure is hard to make a change in my daily pattern – because change calls me to slow down and consider, think – and then make a wise choice… changing my daily routine from a more comfortable, well established pattern to something more purposeful, at a more conscious level. Eek!

 

After the initial hoop-la of buckling down and being all gun-ho about this positive step to a new and healthier way, then comes the need to really settle down and be serious about a long term change. Raise your hand if you’ve been there and done that. We start off so energized and determined… and then drift… and then slide back into our old comfortable, yet not-so-good-for-us ways.

 

And this starting something new is not limited to just a change in diet. Oh, no… people are making changes in all kinds of ways. And like dieting, they can be all optimistic and gun-go in the beginning, only to realize change can be hard work. Change is about step – by – step little victories. Is there someone you know trying something new? Anyone you know who is:

 

Making a change in their diet * Trying to exercise more * A new baby in the house * Newly married (talk about a lifestyle change!) * Empty nesters * Loss of a spouse, child or yes, even a pet * Adult children move back home * Parents in need of daily attention and care * A move to a new house, school, or job * Heading up a big project * Has become a committee member at work, church, school * Starting a new job or career * Fundraiser * Going through physical or occupational therapy * Retirement *

 

… and as you can see, the list can go on and on.

 

Hooray! For my supporters! Because even the smallest of gestures – a kind word can keep me trying. Encourage others to make one good choice after another. Step-by-step. Will you be that someone for a loved one you know?

 

… With my God, I can scale a wall. – Ps. 18:29

 

• Proud of you for taking this on… God bless you with endurance, energy, wisdom and strength
• You have my full support… praying for your success.
• May you enjoy steady progress (and peace) with each passing day.

 

 

 

 

Refocus

It certainly isn’t hard these days to find bad news; heart-breaking news. It seems all too easy to make a list of things to worry about, lose hope about. Do you have a list of circumstances in your life where getting things turned around seems impossible?  Waiting and waiting and things aren’t appearing to get all better…

 

I believe bad news and good news run alongside each other – like railroad tracks.

 

For some reason, bad news seems to jump out at us, screaming for attention, and attention it gets. Good news on the other hand, is just as present, but you have to “force yourself” to acknowledge its presence. Because good news IS present. So let’s practice – refocusing.

 

I want you to stop and think for a minute – of how many cancer survivors you can name. Make a list.

And how about those who have survived serious surgeries – add them to your list.

Do you know some who made it through a life-threatening accident?

How many people do you know who were unemployed and finally got a job?

A soldier home from the war…

A complicated pregnancy - had a healthy baby…

Someone returning to the faith…

A couple who has celebrated many years of marriage…

Someone lost a bunch of weight…

 

In all these scenarios, the outcome could go either way, right? But, right now, acknowledge the fact that all these people that you know, survived what at first seemed mighty impossible. Celebrate! Rejoice! Smile! Embrace it!

So, add your numbers up… and I’ll add mine. And together we have a nice little group of – miracles! Now, if we go really conservative and say that 100,000 people in each state can come up with the same number of miracles – well, that’s a lot of good news action going on!

 

My sole point in all this is – do not give up hope. Ever. Nothing is impossible for God. Miracles happen every day. They do! God is busy every day. And they seem to happen to all kinds of people – rich, poor, etc. regardless of race, age, sex, religion. And it can happen to you. Have hope.

 

• With God all things are possible. Have hope.
• Miracles are happening every day. Praying and believing with you.
• So, do not fear, for I AM with you; do not be dismayed, for I AM your God; I will strengthen you and help you…. – Is. 41:10

Sing... sing a song

Today I want to talk about music. Songs. And words in a song. Because we all relate to music…the right song can soothe us, right? Don’t you have a favorite song? One that comes to mind when you’re feeling blue? Or do you hum or whistle a little tune when you’re having a good day?

 

Or maybe, like a dear loved one of mine, who went through the trauma of having cancer and its treatments, heard a song on the radio and the words spoke exactly to what she was feeling. And it became her mantra. Her strength.

 

It doesn’t have to be religious / Christian music, although those can certainly bring about words of hope and love. Encouragement and power. But awhile back, I was listening to a classic rock station, and an old James Taylor song came on. And the words just washed over me. Not only was I comforted, but a couple of friends came to mind. They have been living busy, harried lives – and this song, I knew, would settle them down for a good night’s sleep as well. So I simply wrote to them, and said I heard this on the radio and it made me think of them. And I jotted a couple lines of the song down and mailed it out.

 

I have also used choruses of songs to lift up someone’s spirits. The old hymn “Great is Thy Faithfulness” is one I have used in sending notes to shut-ins. Just a few lines… brings hope, reassurance and promise to these dear souls.

 

And how about an old camp song – shared among friends. Revive a good, ol’ memory by sending those familiar lines to someone you know.

 

For those of you who have trouble thinking of something clever or appropriate to write in a card, consider the words written by professional songwriters.

 

Today, slow down… and become aware of the music around you. Listen to the words. Jot some of those phrases down. And then, later, take a card and simply write them down and send a meaningful message to someone on your heart. Try it. I’ve done it. And people are blessed by your thoughtfulness.

 

• Heard this song on the radio and it lifted my spirits. May it do the same for you.
• Remembering this old favorite brought warm thoughts of you to mind.
• May you be encouraged and strengthened by the words of this song…

... and what NOT to say

Had a conversation with a dear friend recently. She happens to have suffered a loss of a loved one – and also works with others who have. So I feel pretty confident to share some of the things she told me.

 

Grieving is a terrible business. Grieving is a personal business. Everyone handles it differently. It’s mind-numbing. It is life stopping. And it always takes longer than you think.

 

A few things that just don’t help in the time of fresh grief:

 

Your loved one isn’t in pain anymore. (I don’t care! I want my loved one with ME)

Your loved one is in a better place. (I don’t care! I want my loved one with ME)

May you have peace that passes understanding (I don’t want peace. I want my loved one with ME)

I know exactly how you feel (No, you don’t. You don’t)

 

And this next one, used my many of us, innocently and not meaning harm:

It’s been a year now… it’s time for you to move on.

 

Call it selfish. But the feelings are honest and raw and real. They come in waves – tidal waves. Sometimes they ebb and flow. Eventually, there are days that are better than others. But that empty ache never really goes away. In some ways, you don’t get over it in a year or two or…

 

So, what can we say in these instances? Because we do love and care for this person.

 

• I am so sorry this has happened to you.
• I am here for you. I’ll call you next week. I’ll bring dinner.
• I will share your joys and sorrows, til we’ve seen this journey through.