Church bulletin bloopers

© 2016 Julie Crane All rights reserved

Not gathering for corporate worship? Here are some bloopers you may be missing to lift your spirit:

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

 

The scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

 

The sermon this morning: Jesus walks on the water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.

 

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of old, useless things. Bring your husbands.

 

At the evening service, the topic will be "What is hell?" Come early and listen to the choir practice.

 

Potluck supper will be Sunday at 5:00pm. Prayers and medication to follow.

But just as humor can lift the spirit and soul, God's Word also has the power to do the same. If you need your spirits lifted, seek to know Who God is. His characteristics. They are truth and light. Remind yourself over and over, every day, that God HAS been good to me. We've all had challenges in the past. God has never given up on us. God will see us through - again and again. God is present in the highs and the lows of this life. His promise is to carry us through and into heaven. Eternal life with God includes this present life, this very day. Eternal is characterized by abiding fellowship with God; continued without intermissions; seemingly endless and existing at all times. With God! God is forever faithful. Mighty. Strong. Powerful. Wise beyond belief. And loving toward you. Caring about you. At your best. At your worst. God does not change His love or action toward you. You are loved - beyond your understanding. Hold that in your head and heart and know for certain... Almighty, Most High God of all - is holding you in His.

 

 

 

 

 

I stopped praying

I know, I know! I've been a Christian for quite a while now. And I'm a preacher's wife, for crying out loud! Shouldn't prayer be as effortless as breathing by now? Yet I found myself in a place where I just couldn't pray anymore. (Now, to clarify, I mean I drifted from my regular routine of starting each day off with some "only God" time. I was still calling out to Him throughout the day with 15 second popcorn prayers.)

I stopped praying. My list of concerns over others grew and grew. More names added than lined out with a PTL. And I had my own ongoing, personal issues. Seemed like I needed to use up my morning quiet time with less bible reading and more whining / pleading. Who wants to hear that every morning?

I tried gratitude. Really I did. But it felt like some rote script about food, clothing and shelter.

I dreaded mornings. I dreaded feeling like there was so much to be sorry about to God:

• not praying
• not regular bible reading
• not lifting others up
• feeling sorry for myself
• being selfish
• not trusting in God enough

My imaginings of how God would respond got bigger and bigger.

Then a heavy, weighty concern over a friend came - crushing my heart.

And I HAD to pray. NOW. It woke me up. Early, early...

I had to go to the One Who hears prayers and answers them. (Psalm 66:19-20)

To the One Who is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18)

The God I've always known is still faithful, loving, kind and good. Despite my lapses, God is forever faithful in character.

So I did open my bible and prayed the words of hope, life and strength I found  into this friend's situation.

All my worries about guilt and being frantic with concerns - did not come to mind. What I found was a good, good Father with comforting reassuring arms . My heart rate settled. My overactive mind settled. I slid down in my chair and put my feet on the coffee table.

Has it happened to you?

Not reading your bible anymore?

Too guilty or distracted to pray?

I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you. (Isaiah 44:22)

... I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:29)

(Love)... keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

God of wonders - indeed.

God of love - yes!

Who among the gods is like You, Lord? Who is like You - majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders? (Exodus 15:11)

Who is a God like You, Who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. (Micah 7:18)

Taking an "only God" time can be healing, strengthening and assuring.

Now I'm only sorry I stayed away so long.

The way it is... right now

© 2018 Julie Crane All rights reserved

"I'm sorry. The cat food at the grocery store - the brand that you prefer - was all gone. This stuff is in a blue bag just like the other. It's chicken flavor, just like the other. We're in the midst of a pandemic. We all have to try new things for awhile."

Noooo! They cry. And cry. And paw at me with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry," I say yet again. "I'm not purposely trying to upset your norm. I'm doing the best I can. This is what we have available."

Maybe you don't have a finicky pet. But you may remember the moans and groans of family in the days after Thanksgiving. After: turkey sandwiches, turkey quiche, turkey casserole and turkey on a shingle...

And then there are these passages from the bible:

The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost - also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onion and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna! (Numbers 11:4-6)

My cats version:
If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death." (Exodus 16:3) (emphasis mine)

So, it's plain to see that having to make some adjustments for a season of time is not a new thing. And yet:

The cats cried.
The family cried.
The people cried.

And for what purpose?
He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. (Deuteronomy 8:3)

As we enter yet another day of limitations, let us remember from past teachings. Let us remember spiritual food, spiritual abundance, and feast on what is truly God-given goodness.

The Sustainer of all life - past, present and future.