Downtime

I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Correct me, Lord, but only with justice - not in Your anger, lest You reduce me to nothing. (Jeremiah 10:23-24)


I am what I am, Lord, and marveling that You would love me as intensely as You say You do. Thanks be to God! Thanks be to Jesus that by Your mercy and grace, You remove all the negative things about me and make me presentable in Your sight. Because of You, I will fit in - in the highest, most glorious of all places and among all kinds of people - heaven. I imagine that there ,I will not duck my head in shyness, fear or shame. I can't imagine such freedom. Lord, I shall be a totally different person with all the damaged goods gone.

I get lost, Lord, in trying to do the best I can and realizing at days end, maybe my meager best wasn't enough. I could have been more loving, more gentle, and certainly more productive. My heavy burden is all this self judgment. What about all the senior citizens who can't get out and about and do much.? Do they pose the same questions? Do they wonder how they live for the Lord when they are all alone in their room all day, unable to do things like write or read or make a phone call? Do? Everyday for them - a state of being instead of doing and they wrestle in their minds about their purpose. Yet You find them as acceptable as the doers. In this world we are driven to reach for excellence or at least the best you can. You must expend energy in thought, word and deed. Yet Your beckon us to Come and Be still. But for how long? Once a day? Sometimes more. Sometimes longer. I guess You, Lord, would be the decision maker on that. Probably constantly different for a variety of reasons. Who are we to judge ourselves or others on what the "best we can" really is and its hidden value.

Maybe yesterday was a Be Still downtime sort of day. Not really productive - for whatever reason. But are not my days written in Your Book? Are not my moments filtered through Your very hands before one of them came to be? Am I not securely loved and kept close to Your side as the most precious of children, whether or not I judge a day good or bad? Can I honor God by not doing? Is there a difference between doing something when my heart and attitude are not in it - and doing something I don't feel up to, but want to please God with such a gift? I think heart attitude is everything. I'm not fooling You, God, by doing good deeds just to check them off a list. Its only when my true desire is to please You with obedience - no matter what - letting nothing stop me, that the offering is pleasing and acceptable in Your sight. There is a time when I'm fit for doing and times when I need to get re-centered on my relationship with You before I continue.

Sounds like a never-ending, circling cycle way of life. So don't be distressed if you find yourselves in a state of non-doing. You may be in the re-centering phase for a season. Don't beat yourself up during this time of what you might call getting nothing done. The Lord is probably working on your insides. Allow Him to work on you and prepare you in every way for your next good work - to the glory of His precious Name.