Oh, the choices I've made!

I have a favorite quote from a book. (It’s posted on my facebook if you want to see the actual wording). It’s a famous southern belle exhausted by the all the traumas of life and one day realizing she felt like she handled everything wrong. Feels like she made a mess of so many things in her life. And how did that happen? Have you traveled down that same “woulda, coulda, shoulda” road too? Do you look back and see too many mistakes?

But the sage, elderly woman she was talking to spoke with such compassion. The Lord sends some pretty heavy burdens. And you do the best you can with where you are mentally at the time. Don’t beat yourself up over it. What’s past is past. You did what you could at the time.

I like to remind myself of that on occasion. Mercy me, but I’ve made some bad choices, especially in my younger (and not so young) years … hurt some folks, loved ones even. Hurt myself too.

But the Lord is not mad at me. He still loves me. He has used those times and keeps them in my memory so that I can relish the change He’s brought about in me. Oh, how I’ve grown as a Christian woman!

Part of me wishes I hadn’t ever made such foolish choices. Wishes I could have grown up in the straight and narrow and stayed there. But it’s these very painful, poor choices that have helped me best recognize God working on me.

Now I don’t want to continue making bad choices so that I can see God doing more work on me. But I am thankful that He, knowing the sinner that I am by my human nature, can use those times in my life for good.

Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t focus on past failures. You did what you had to do at the time. You did what made sense at the time. Instead, realize all that God is and does. Recognize His work in your heart and mind; the changes, transformations… the difference He’s made in how you choose now. Those bad choices of the past come to mind for a reason – not to tear you down with despair but to see how God has touched you personally. Through the Spirit of God within you, you’ve grown. You can make better choices. You’ve grown. He has not left you as you once were. You are continually moving forward… upward… in Christ.