I had cancer

Four years ago, I was on a cancer journey. I'll never forget it. But the memories of comments I made during that time keep popping up on one of my social media accounts.

I do remember considering the fact that I just might die from it. Yes, I cried. Yes, I was angry. Fearful too. But I resolved right then to pay attention to the kind of legacy I would be leaving. I wanted faith, trust and hope in God; peace and love - to be my banner. I would rest in the Lord. Be confident in Him. In reviewing my memory posts, I hope I conveyed that to my family and friends. The picture you see above is of a garland made of all the love, support and encouragement messages people sent me when I first found out. Those thoughts and prayers carried a lot of the burden I felt at the time.

Back in 2003, I went through the bumps and bruises of a divorce, at the same time as caring for my mom dying of cancer, at the same time as my only son was preparing for a tour of duty in Iraq. Numerous other problems piled up on top of all that regarding my health, home and car. Yes, I cried. Yes, I was angry. Fearful too.

Yet a dear friend kept telling me to say aloud and repeat as often as necessary, "Even so, I will trust in the Lord and praise His holy name." I spoke those words over and over - every time a new dilemma arose. My mantra to seeing myself through. Once again, letting Christ rise and shine in this life of mine despite all the problems.

And now we find ourselves in the midst of a world wide pandemic. Yes, I cry. Yes, I am angry. Fearful too.But my thoughts return once again to - what will my legacy be? How will people remember how I journeyed? Did I forever rant and rave the whole time? Panic. Fearful. The whole time?

Or will I again speak the words given by that dear friend:
Even so - I will trust in the Lord and praise His holy name.

For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. (2 Corinthians 2:15)