I haven't been myself lately

© 2018 Julie Crane All rights reserved

Unsteady. Wobbly. Uncertain. I sure miss my normal, comfortable routine. That basic structure I had to my days and weeks, while allowing flexibility as I deemed necessary.

But now for the benefit of all - I am living under much different circumstances. Much of it out-of-my-control circumstances. For the sake of others, I am limiting my own free will, participating in a greater good.

For the greater good.

I know many of us have been spending whole days with messy hair, no makeup and switching from our nighttime pajamas to our daytime pajamas. In this we have transitioned quite well. And yet the bible calls us to:

clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 13:14)

clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Colossians 3:12)

clothe yourselves with humility toward one another (1 Peter 5:5)

For the greater good as well.

We've been finding new and different ways to show love during this pandemic. It may indeed feel like we've been clothed in something else. How else would we be able to exhibit such patience and kindness beyond what we could have ever imagined before? Where does that strength come from?

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, Who has given me strength, that He considered me trustworthy, appointing me to His service. (1 Timothy 1:12)

As I long for my old comfortable routine, I am reminded once again:

You are not your own; you were bought at a price. (1 Corinthians 6:20)

I haven't been myself lately.

Maybe it's time to realize I am a part of a whole. Not just say it sincerely, but to be more consciously aware that I have a God-purpose for being in the here and now. A real and divine purpose. (But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you My power and that My name might be proclaimed in all the earth. (Exodus 9:16). It's not all about me and my comfort zone and ordering my life as I see fit.

Ouch. Those are some painful words to write out. Even as I write, I'm trying to think of a more comfortable and appealing way to share them.

But those are God's words and not my own.

One minute I'm joking about daytime pajamas and the next it's some very sober thoughts about living under God's rule. Loving all others, despite the circumstances. Spreading the love of Christ around as we ought and not just when we feel like it or when it's convenient. That His name might be proclaimed...)

I haven't been myself lately.
I am not my own.
I am God's.
And Christ's ambassador.
As though God were making His appeal through us. (2 Corinthians 5:20)

I am a servant.
I am an instrument.
I am clay.
And I have a calling. God-assigned things to do.

Perhaps I am learning that my selfish self needs to take a back seat for it is also written as a reminder to us:

He must become greater; I must become less. (John 3:30)

Lord, help me to NOT be myself today.
Clothe me with compassion of Christ, the kindness of Christ, the humility of Christ, the gentleness and patience... of Christ.
Day time. Night time.
Ordinary times. Inconceivable times.

Clothe me with Christ.
What a humbling thought...