Doing it afraid

 I know the Bible says numerous times, “Do not be afraid”. But sometimes my brain just doesn’t listen! Every time I sit down to draw and look at that blank piece of paper, I am afraid. Afraid to start. Afraid it won’t be as good as things in the past. Afraid maybe I’ve lost that creative skill all together - because I’ve neglected it, haven’t practiced on a regular basis as I ought. But somehow, from somewhere, an image comes to mind. And I force myself to try. It can be quite agonizing - this starting business. I’m full of doubts and fears. I tell myself it’s okay if it doesn’t turn out good enough. Not everything you attempt in life turns out perfectly every single time. Think new recipes. New songs. New habits. There are all kinds of things we put off for fear of failure. It is so tempting not to try at all. What difference will it really make? No one will even miss it…

It may sound quite strange to you when I say that I sometimes have to force myself to draw a circle. Then keep adding on. And do a lot of erasing. But then I get lost in the activity. And I keep tweaking and actually PLAYING around with it. Oh, how I enjoy a playful spirit! I love the smile that it brings me. I love the satisfaction it brings me. Me and my tropical bears are sitting here on the porch. Just smiling. And to think it almost didn’t happen… I might have stayed in my misery of “I probably can’t do it. It probably won’t turn out.”  I would have missed this afternoon’s smiles. Missed the opportunity to make you smile… to make a difference. “Probably” - just doesn’t know my God of possibilities!

Perhaps you have times of not wanting to try. The fear of - it’s not going to be good enough - consumes all other thoughts. “Start” is hard. But let me encourage you to do so. My goodness, what if something beautiful comes from it? Sometimes things DO turn out. Amazingly well. Don’t miss out. Don’t miss the joy and satisfaction of conquering your fear and savoring a great result.

Be amazed at what God can do through you when you show up. Afraid and all. Be hopeful, expectant and eager to see what the Lord will do.

Yes. Show up for God. He’s got ideas and plans for you. His word for you today: Start.

Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it… for if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has… (2 Cor. 8:11-12)